Since it is now legal for lawyers to advertise their legal services (tacky though that may be), and since Willie is in such a lather (pun intended) over the "bafs" and all, we are allowing Mr. Murphy free space to offer his assistance.
Dere Mr. Willie,
I wuld be hapi to reprisent you. Sense you was tweated difrunt from deuddrs and u wur in pwison...you hab a vewy good case. As the onwy CornTerror aturney in the wurld, I habs a good record wif such maters.
I kin fwy down and file a stwaining ordur Mundy, but will need aadvanse cuz fadder duzn't wet us cary muney. My ticket will cos bout free hundret, but it will cost more to ship my couch. I neber goanywhere wifout my couch.
Sum times a letr frum me wil hep. Dat wone cost nuffin. Wet me no wat U want's to do.
Mr. Murphy, Esq
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