Dere Col and Cuzins,
Dis is Willie, in Jones Oklahoma and I needs hep! I'z had TREE BAFS IN TWO DAZ. It's rong and I noz that ya'll will agrees wif me and tell my Mom-Mom to stops immediately.
It's like dis: First my Mom (dat's Alexandra) and her Mom (dat's my Mom-Mom) sends me and Napoleon and Gingers to jail for four daz while they are gone on a trip. My Mom is still gone, but Mom Mom comes home yesterday. Dat's all well and good, cuz we are released from jail. But, here's da ting. Those jailers gibs all tree of us a baf before Mom Mom gets there to pik us up sos we will smell good. Well, I smelled just fine. In fact, I had been working on that smell for a while, cuz Mom Mom said I stunk when she tooks me to jail. Dat means the smell was just getting to da way I liks it.
Anyways, to get to da point. We gets home kinda late yesserday so not much time to pway outside and check into eberything. Today, though, well I'z back to work, guarding the perimeters. Dats not the point either, really. Mom Mom bought us a swim pool. Jus our size. Me and Napoleons lubs it!! We always in it. Ginger, she doesnt liks to git her feets wet. (It's a giwl thing.) So Mom Mom lets us out and doesn't check the pool.
Now its been ober 100 degrees here in Oklahoma, so guess what? Not much water left in our pool and what is dere is berry berry diwty! It's pewfect!!! Well more would be better, but I wasn't complaining. So I gits in it and I gots to roll around in it to get alls of me wet. ~~~ sigh ~~~ Mom Mom, she's not amused. She says (in dat tone) "Willie, what on earth did you do and what do you have all over you?" But she comes outside and cweans our pool and fills it wif water.
So I fink all is well. RONG. She gits that water hose and proceeds to wash all my stuff offa me. Can you eben believes it? I don want dat water hose used on me! I iz not happy and I tells her about it. (She doesn't lissen, either, dat's anofer problem wif her.) But I win dat one. hehehehehe Da minute she turns me loose, I runs ober to the corner were dere is dirt and I rolls and rolls in it. hehehehehe I iz almost back to good. But den.... I shoulda known. Mom Mom is NOT amused. She piks me up (I gits dirt all ober her too, though) and takes me into da house and straight to da baftub! DA BAFTUB, I tell you. WOE is me....
She gits the soap out and cweans me all up agin. Now I'm on house arrest until I dwy off. So I needs hep. Pweezz tell Mom Mom to stop dis torture. I iz not supposed to hab dat many bafs. And Ginger and Napoleon are NO heps here cuz Ginger sez I shouldn't hab been in the dirty water anywaz (pweez, what is she tinking??) And Napoleon, well he is Momma's boy, so pwetty much anyfing she doez is ok wif him. Comes to fink of it, I shoulda tried to git him to git in wif me....
Willie in Jones Oklahoma under house arrest... by Mom Mom Keren
Ginger Bells -- silly boy -- I telld him not to git in dat dirty water.... yucky!
Napoleon -- I'z jus happy my Mom is home agin
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