Hi. Your boi Stewart here.I has bad newz. I is in disgrace this morning. And I deserves it. Just not for the reason that my Alice thinks.
So, I wuz having a gud morning. I got up, I went potty, I did sum hunting, I caym inside, and I had my breakfast. Then things went wrong.
Alice wanted me to go in the fambly room with Canada. I proposed an alternate course of ackshun - I wanted to go in Mommy's room and try to steel Chopin's food. Alice offered me a bribe - she said she'd share her breakfast of pumpkin muffin with me. I wuzn't quite buyin' it, so she produced the aforementioned muffin, and set it on the table. Beeing a fair-minded boi, I accepted this token of gud faith, and went into the fambly room.
I wuz THEN informed that Alice needed to go check on the laundry. I wuzn't very happy, but she wuz doing it for Mommy, so I acquiesed to this deelay. By the time she reemerged from the depths of the basement (a very scary place, if I does say so myself), I wuz ready for my bribe. I barked at her, to let her know that I was quite famished.
Then she wanted to go get Cider and Maggie! That wuz the last straw. I is a payshent boi, but I haz my limits. While she went and grabbed Cider, I jumped up on her chair, grabbed the muffin, and took it down to the carpet. Knowing that she would be unhappy with my drastic measures, I proceeded to dispose of the evidence. And that wuz when she walked in.
Alice is unhappy 'cuz I stole her muffin. I iz ashamed that I didn't dispose of the evidence fast enough. In the fyoocher, I will do better.
Your boi Stewart Wagers
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