Maggie & Stewart - Earfdogs Extra Ordinnaire!

Dis is your boi Stewart, here. We had a berry exciting weekend. Maggie and me gotz to go OUT OF TOWN!You see, Aunt Nancy told mama about an earfdog play day for Saturday. And LET ME TELL YOU, it was da best! Furst we drove and drove and drove and DROVE! Maggie sat in her seatbelt, but I rode in a cwate. (I getz carsick in da seatbelt.) Den, when we gotz dere, I wuz such a good boi. I sat beside mama and lets people pet me and was berry polite to eberybuddy. We met Brenna and her sister Skyla and her mama from up near Chicago. Brenna used to be Skye when she wuz at CP. She eben let mama say hi to her. Dere were cairns, a schnauzer, a couple ob dachunds, a few white cairns (huh!), border terriers, and more dat wanted to be earfdogs! Outside dere wuz dis nice man standing in an expen in da shape ob a bone wif a wooden tunnel it da skinny part. Da man had a lazy ole rat in a liddle box and Mags and me gotz to sniff and snarl at da rat. I growled to show him I wuz berry dangerous! Eberybuddy said, "Good dog, good boi" when I barked at da rat. Dey never say dat when I bark at home!Den dey put da rat in a hamster ball and I gotz to push it frou da tunnel! Maggie didn't want to go in da tunnel, so I pushed it for her too. She went frou jes fine wif me. We went back and forth and back and forth. Dat was fun!Den finally da nice man put da lazy rat away and got 2 rats in one cage, one black and one white. (I fink I scared da other rat! he, he,!) He had a tunnel in da ground and at da end wuz da rats. But I took one look at dat dark hole an had SECOND THOUGHTS. So Maggie saved da day. She said, "Now this is the REAL THING." She zoomed down da hole, right to da rats! So den, ob course, I had to do it, too! Eben when da nice man made it a little harder and added another tunnel wif a turn in it, Maggie and I still just ZOOMED down da tunnel to get da RATS! One ob da rats tried to bite at Maggie frou da cage! Well, you know how SHE is. Dat jes got her dander up and she REALLY let loose. She told dem dat she wuz going to eat dem for lunch and she prolly had dere brudders for breakfast! (She was berry fierce!)It wuz a berry fun day. Mama sez we can go again sometime. She sez sometimes dere are tests for earfdog, but for now, we're jes playing. Eberybuddy kept telling us all day, "Good dog, good boi (or good gurl fur Maggie)! I lob it wen dey tell me I'm a good boi! Dey said we wuz berry good earfdogs and we had POTENTIAL! So watch for more news from da earfdogs extra ordinnaire - Maggie and Stewart! Lots ob Lobs an Kisses, Your boi Stewart p.s. My birfday iz in a couple ob weeks - April 17th. I'm gonna ask for a hamster ball and hab mama put rats in it to push around da family room. Wouldn't dat be FUN???

Stewart - In Disgrace, In Misoory

Hi. Your boi Stewart here.
I has bad newz. I is in disgrace this morning. And I deserves it. Just not for the reason that my Alice thinks.
So, I wuz having a gud morning. I got up, I went potty, I did sum hunting, I caym inside, and I had my breakfast. Then things went wrong.
Alice wanted me to go in the fambly room with Canada. I proposed an alternate course of ackshun - I wanted to go in Mommy's room and try to steel Chopin's food. Alice offered me a bribe - she said she'd share her breakfast of pumpkin muffin with me. I wuzn't quite buyin' it, so she produced the aforementioned muffin, and set it on the table. Beeing a fair-minded boi, I accepted this token of gud faith, and went into the fambly room.
I wuz THEN informed that Alice needed to go check on the laundry. I wuzn't very happy, but she wuz doing it for Mommy, so I acquiesed to this deelay. By the time she reemerged from the depths of the basement (a very scary place, if I does say so myself), I wuz ready for my bribe. I barked at her, to let her know that I was quite famished.
Then she wanted to go get Cider and Maggie! That wuz the last straw. I is a payshent boi, but I haz my limits. While she went and grabbed Cider, I jumped up on her chair, grabbed the muffin, and took it down to the carpet. Knowing that she would be unhappy with my drastic measures, I proceeded to dispose of the evidence. And that wuz when she walked in.
Alice is unhappy 'cuz I stole her muffin. I iz ashamed that I didn't dispose of the evidence fast enough. In the fyoocher, I will do better.
Your boi Stewart Wagers
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