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Thursday, January 8, 2009

Spanks' Day (in his own Cairn-lish)

Hi dere eberee1,
Iz me, Spanks da Man. Todae iz a speshul dae 4 me n mi famiblee. Iz 4 yeerz todae dat I cumz 2 lib heer. Yup. Todae iz mi GOTCHA dae. 4 yeerz go dey got luhkee. I fink me 2.
Dere iz gonna B big selabraytin roun heer. Tonyte deyz habin fiss 4 dinah n I git sum jus 4 me. Buh iz naht lyk odda timz wen I git da hallibutt (daz fiss) wif sum Corn fuud. Tonyte I jus git all fiss. Dat be wonnaful.
N guess wat ellse???? Nex week, onna Mundae, iz mi birfdae. I be firteen. Yup. Den I be fissully a teenakker. N sinz mi fokes be Jewiss (watz dat?) wen Iz firteen I posed 2 git a bar mitzvah. (Watz dat agin?) Now I heer dem speekin bout iz buht dey sae dat I wud hab 2 reed sum hee-brew (iz dat sumtin 2 drink?). I don no bout reedin no hee-brew. I hab nuf prolemz reedin d'Inglish.
Buh I no dat mi fokes ab sed dat dey neber herd, inna all ob eternity, dat da rabbi eber sed 2 da kyd dat dey naht bar mitvah cuz dez didn reed da hee-brew rite. Sew mabee derez a chanz. I heer dat dere be presentz n partyin inbolbed sew mabee I wud lyke dis.
Dis iz da en ob dis e-male cuzI hab to go n prepar 4 all da hallibutt.
Lubs,Spanks da Man

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