An Ode to Pedicurez

An Ode to Pedicurez - in proze
by Margaret Agnes Wagers (Maggie, da Emprus ob de Entir Uniberz- aka a Cairn Terrier!!)

Da Pedicure! Da Pedicure!
I do so lub da pedicure!
Furst my mama holdz me
And cuddlez me
And den she tellz me how lubbely I ams.

Den we talks abowt my feetses,
How pretty and danety dey is.
Mama rememberz me hows I habs to be careful
In da wintertimes,
Soz to not slipses on da ices.

Den I cuddleses on her lapses,
And lay on my backses for her to clips, clips, clips da hair
Arounds my pretty nailses, and betweenses my pretty footpads
Wif her tiny scissors
To makes my feets so pretty.

Soon I seez da dremel appear
Ahhh, da massager obs my feets.
Mama holds my toezes one by one and touches dem
Wif da dremel
And buzz, buzz, buzz, my nails be shorter!

As I layz on my back, wif my tummy to da sky,
I don't cares dat eberybuddy can seez my tummy.
I don't cares about da hair clippings scattered across it.
Da massaging is gud,
My mama lubs me, so soon I will be pretty.

Den jes when I tink dat hebben iz reeched,
And I cud lay in mama's armz forebber,
All my toezes is finished!
Da dremel fallz silent.
Mama sitz me upright and letses me jump down.

I shakes, shakes, shakeses and checks outs my feetses.
I can seezes dem! My toes are exposed!
No more shaggy hairses to get in my way.
No more long nails.
My pedicure in finished......I can't waits for next week!